Crack kills

There is a plague which is wreaking havoc across our nation.

A horrible trend which ruins the lives of everyone who is exposed to it, and it must be stopped.

I see it everywhere I go, from work to church to Wal*Mart, and everywhere in between.

That plague is the plague of Crack.

Not the drug "Crack"...

Butt Crack.

Now, before you start, I don't go around looking at people's butts. I am not a pervert, or a peeper. I am just a normal, regular guy, trying to live in the world, and am cursed with a measure of situational awareness.

I understand the need to be fashionable, and to wear your "Skinny Jeans", "Low Riders", or 'Hip Huggers", or whatever you want to call them, and I know that the trend of saggy, posterior exposing pants and midriff exposing tops is probably here to stay, but I don't have to like it, and I don't have to keep quiet about it.

Nobody wants to see that.

Even if you have the prettiest one in the whole wide world, it's still your butt. Cover it up.

When the preacher gave the invitation this morning, I saw FOUR of them, shining out toward the congregation, right there LITERALLY in front of God and everybody. (Maybe that's why the preacher wanted every head bowed and every eye closed...)

And I cannot believe that these people are unaware that they are displaying four inches of plumber's butt to the world. I know where the waistline of MY pants is, and I know about where the Good Lord split me. If I cannot make the two areas overlap, I tuck in my shirt. (You're welcome.)

I know what to do about it though, and I want you all to join me.

Around my house here, there are about twenty little syringes. They come packaged with children's medicines.

I'm going to start keeping one on my person, filled with Baby Oil.

And when I see exposed Crack, I'm going to squirt Baby Oil right down it.

Maybe by doing that, I can make the crack flashers as aware of their crack as the rest of us are.

Maybe I can get them interested in keeping me from seeing it.

Maybe I can run fast enough while laughing hysterically to keep from getting beaten to death by someone with a slippery exposed crack...

Hmnn... Maybe this plan needs a little more work...

The Liberals Won?

“It doesn’t matter who’s president because the Liberals won. In the 1960s, all the protest was on the Left because America was conservative. We have conservative politicians, we give conservative speeches, but on every major issue the liberals have won. We are a liberal country. You can go into the most conservative neighborhood in America and, you go into their home, talk to their kids, and their kids listen to the same music, talk the same way, dress the same way. Culturally we’re liberal.” - Jerry Springer on yesterday's Howard Stern Show.

Uhmn... Not quite, Jerry.

The Liberals have won on almost every major issue, that much is true. But these issues were not decided through a fair exchange of ideas, or a majority vote of the people, they were decided through the courts.

The Liberals did not win by winning the hearts and minds of the people, they won by forcing their ideas on the country against our will.

Liberalism has won by circumventing your ability to make up your own mind about how you want to live your life, run your business, raise your children, or with whom you will associate. The Liberals have won by usurping your Freedom.

That is why the energy for protest right now is on the Right.

That is why Liberal Talk Radio is unsuccessful.

That is why it is too early to declare winners and losers.

The game is not over, they just happen to have the ball right now.

Friends

I have 33 friends.

At least that's what my Facebook page says. (As of now, anyway.)

I joined Facebook Saturday morning, and so far it has been a lot of fun. Some of my friends don't talk enough, and some of them talk... uhmn... a lot. There are a lot of people with whom I had lost touch, and I am very glad to have this resource with which to preserve those relationships. There are some people with whom I have absolutely no interest in re-establishing contact, but I still think about them from time to time, and I have been able to discreetly peek in on them without bothering them, or stirring up any confusion of any kind.

And there are some that I don't care enough about to even look for, and those, I have left alone.

All of these people are, or have been my friends, and my interactions with them over the course of my life have made me who I am, and will continue to shape me until I die, whether we stay connected or not.

This experience has caused me to think about what, exactly, friends are. I have known thousands of people, been close to a hand full, but really close to only a couple.

 Lifelong, really close, fully trusting, unconditional, no agenda friends... I have one.

 One friend.

 God gave him to me when I was 3 months old, and we played together in the playpen together before either of us could walk or talk. God almost took him back again when he was 6 weeks old, when his mother was involved in a horrendous car wreck ( In those days, we didn't haaave all those fancy-schmancy child safety seats...) and he was very nearly killed. (I'm convinced he sustained severe brain damage, cause, the boy ain't right.)

But God didn't take him, I believe, partly because He knew that I would need him.

We weren't really close growing up. We lived about five hours apart, so we would see each other once a year, maybe, and I think that he and I slightly annoyed each other. We both were, and still are, show-offs and  clowns, and we both crave the undivided attention of whatever room in which we happen to find ourselves, so there was a sort of natural competition between us.

But after he graduated from college and I moved into my little trailer on the outskirts of our home town, we discovered that we had some complimentary skill sets, and that the two of us working together could command twice ( at least ) as much attention as either could alone, and a partnership was formed.

He and I have laughed at each other, worked together, played together, written songs together, chased women together, retrieved broken down cars together, loaned each other money, and seen each other through all manner of physical and emotional trauma. When I wrecked the Turkey Truck, he was the second person to arrive at the hospital behind my wife, and he made it all the way into the X-ray room to laugh at me before Hospital Security threw him out. (He had wrecked HIS Turkey Truck two weeks earlier...)

Since I got married, we have drifted out of contact again, and I had seen him maybe twice in the past three or four years.

But on Saturday, completely independent of each other, with no idea that it was happening, he, in North Carolina, and I, in South Carolina, sat down at our computers, and started our Facebook pages AT ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME MOMENT.

And I believe that if I were to contact him tonight, and ask him to help me dispose of a dead body, the only questions I would get from him would relate to locating heavy equipment to make the process more efficient, and he would carry the secret with him to his grave.

Everyone needs a friend like that. I would never have made it without mine.

Let's Get Caught up, Shall We?

Okay, let's see if I remember how to do this...

Okay... Drudge Report.

SUICIDE BOMBER ATTACKS MOSCOW AIRPORT?! 35 DEAD?!?
... Oh, wait... That's Russia. Never mind.

Wait, what's this?
  
GM's China sales pass US for first time in history?

Aren't there like a Trillion people in China? It's about time. 
Besides, China buying cars from Government Motors is basically Communists and Socialists trading hats. Maybe the Chinese will buy enough American products to offset some of this debt some time in the next 200 years or so...


'Global warming' litigation may lead to 'hundreds of billions of dollars' in damages...

At last! Now maybe someone will be forced to prove the existence of Man-made global Warming beyond a shadow of doubt in a court of Law. (Wishful thinking?)



'Bug Mac' and lovely 'grub': food of the future...


I ain't eating bugs and worms... Not on purpose. Sorry.

OBAMA MAKEOVER: PRAISE REAGAN...

Ronald Reagan would kick your scrawny butt, Mr O.
You see, Democrats have never understood Ronald Reagan, or his popularity. They mistakenly believe that his electoral success and continued popularity was a result of Marketing and Packaging, and that the "great unwashed" bought into the advertising campaign. The thought that this many people agreed with Reagan's Ideology over theirs is so unbelievable to them that they can't wrap their heads around it.
When you see Obama saying he admires Ronald Reagan, understand that what he admires is what he believes to be Reagan's ability to fool you.


...outgoing CEO Schmidt gets $100 million

Good for him. There is not one among us who wouldn't cut the same deal for ourselves if we could. 

Lieberman: 'Partisan Mud Fights' Hurt Self-Confidence...

Awwwww... Heat, kitchen, big-girl panties, yada yada yada...

Abortion Doctor Ran 'House of Horrors', Body Parts Lying Around In Garbage Bags...

ALL abortion Doctors run Houses of Horrors, body parts or not.

Well, that was fun. Seems not much has changed since last year... The world is still crazy.

 

 

 

 

 

Here We Go Again?

Nobody told me that children will not allow you to think anymore.

I have no doubt that but for children, Cancer would have been cured by now, we would have time Travel, Cold Fusion, and cars that run entirely on stupidity, but the people who would have thought of these wonders had children, and were prevented from thinking them up. 

I mean, I guess I knew it, but I hadn't really thought about it until I actually had some children, and tried to write a Blog with them in the house. (They are asleep right now.)

They are beautiful, and wonderful, and delightful, and I love nothing more than playing with them and watching them grow and learn... But they absolutely won't let me string two thoughts together into a coherent idea, much less type that idea into a readable Blog post.

But an unusual thing has occurred.

In an attempt to avoid losing contact with friends from work, and from Florida, and from North Carolina who, for one reason or another, have drifted in and out of my life over the past few years, yesterday I set up a Facebook page.

And almost immediately, several of my old Blogger Buddies came out of the woodwork, and I realized that I have missed Blogging, and the interaction that I enjoyed with friends and sparring partners within this forum.

So, here we go again.

I have no idea how frequently I will be allowed to compose and publish new posts, or how closely I will be able to monitor the comment threads, but I am at least going to try.

We'll see how it goes for a while.

For now, here are some pictures of the children. 

(So you can see what I've been doing with my time for the past year.)

Bah, Hum-bug!

I hate Christmas.

There, I said it.

Don't get me wrong... I love spending time with family and friends, I love watching C.J. open his gifts, and then play with the boxes. I love eating too much, wondering where we are going to put all of this new cra-... I mean, stuff we will get, looking at the lights, watching football...

I love all that stuff.

But I hate Christmas.

Bah, freaking Hum-bug.

Thursday night/Friday morning, my Wife and I stood in a line at least two-thousand people long (guess which end of it we were in?) outside Toys-R-Us to take advantage of the door buster sales (or get taken advantage of by the door buster sales, as the case may have been.) When we managed to wrestle the things we wanted away from the rest of the mob, we stood in line again, this time for nearly three hours, before we made it to one of the three cash registers to check out.

But, hey... We saved almost $60.00.

Then, we went across town to Kohl's, and repeated the process.

And then at Sears, and Home Depot, and by the time we got to Guitar Center, my Wife was too tired to spend any more time shopping, and we grabbed what we came for, and went home.

She says we saved a lot of money, but it sure seems like there is a lot of money missing from the bank account... I'm starting to question the definition of the term "saving money"...

Friday night we went to the Holiday Festival of Lights on James Island (Which was actually the Holiday festival of Traffic Jam.) More waiting in line, only this time in the car. And it wouldn't have been so bad, except that our car has a leaky heater core, so we saw the lights through a foggy windshield in a cold car that smelled like hot anti-freeze.

And I would get the heater core fixed, except that we spent whatever extra money we might have had on- well, you know what we spent it on.

Bah, Hum-bug.

Today, I was roused from my nap, and told that it was time to put up the Christmas decorations, so I had to get out of my nice warm bed, and climb up onto the very crown of the top of the roof to hang up lights that I will soon have to climb right back up there to take back down.

Sure are pretty, aren't they, Honey?

Beautiful!

Interesting footnote about these particular Christmas lights... They are the ones we had last Christmas in Spring Hill. So, I had to store them last year, pack them up and moved them to a storage warehouse in Spring Hill when we moved out of that house, and then bring them to Charleston and store them here, and then find them today and put them up. So these particular lights have not only been in my way for a couple of years now, but I have unpacked and repacked them, carried them up into the attic and back down again, rented storage space for them, rented a truck to haul them in, stumbled over and around them when there was no good place to put them, and now, climbed up on the roof to hang them up today.

The time, effort, money, and dangerous, hard work that would have been saved if they had never existed in the first place is staggering.

And I haven't even started with the Christmas Tree yet. That thing is going to be a monumental pain in the lower apparatus this year.

C.J. is two. The quickest way to get him to constantly bother something until it is completely destroyed is to tell him to leave it alone. I hope he doesn't become a victim of domestic violence because of the Christmas tree, but I don't know. (I can't make any promises about his Mama...)

(Just kidding.)

Anyway, enjoy Christmas while you've got it.

It will be much different after I come to power.

My Christmas policy will be a Birthday cake with "Happy Birthday Jesus" on it, you sing the song, and then watch the game.

No more of this tree-shopping-gift giving-hanging up lights Hogwash.

If you want to celebrate more than that, you can read Luke chapter 2, vs.1-20.

Merry freaking Christmas.

Cover Letter Blues...

Well, Congratulations to me.

I have completed the Airframe and Powerplant Course at National Aviation Academy, completed my FAA written, oral, and practical tests, and am now a certificated and licensed A&P Mechanic.

I have extensive training, a license from the Federal Government, and absolutely no experience.

Which makes me the absolute most dangerous mechanic in the world.

And everyone who hires aircraft mechanics knows that.

So, the trick now is to bamboozle some employer somewhere into believing that I won't screw up bad enough to kill several hundred people and destroy a multi-million dollar aircraft before I actually learn something, and convince him that he should pay me for the priviledge of taking on the risk of letting me come near his facility.

There is almost nothing in the world that I enjoy less than looking for a job. I would rather put on a wet suit and a snorkel and clean chicken heads out of a drain in a processing plant than write a resume, and until I graduated last week, I had never heard of a cover letter.

But I have to write one now.

No project should be undertaken without first doing some research, so I went to my favorite web search engine (Gurgle) and typed in the phrase "aircraft mechanic sample cover letter". I got 496,000 results, and they all linked me to the very same sample, which basically read like this:

Dear Employer:
I used to build model airplanes when I was 12, so now you should hire me to work on your F-18s / 767s / A-380s.
I think my lame resume speaks for itself, and just by looking at it, you should be able to determine how lame I am.
I am looking forward to laming up the joint where you are as soon as possible.
When do I start?
Sincerely,
Joe L. Jobseeker (The "L" stands for "Lame".)

So that was a lot of help.

Then I decided to try a few drafts in an environment in which I am fairly comfortable writing... The Blogosphere.

Try these on for size...

Dear Sir:
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to resolve to maintain a more perfect union, establish housekeeping, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common expense, promote staying off Welfare, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle him, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that he should declare the causes which impel him to go get a job...

Nah. Too political.

Okay, check this out...

'Sup, Holmes?
I'm Hone-gray.
I need a J-O-B.
A.S.A.P.
I gots my licenses, I gots my certificates, I gots my work ethic, Yo...
So, the ball's in your court, Dawg...
Hit me up! My digits is on this Resu-mizzay.
A'ight?
Peace out.

Maybe not. Besides, I think one of the other students who graduated with me is pro'lly gone' use that one.

How about this one?

Dear Sir:
I am the greatest.
I am contacting you to make you aware of just how good I am.
I have no doubt that when you realize just how badly you have needed me for the past several years, you will stop at absolutely nothing to get me on your team, and that the mediocrity you have endured from the employees for which you have had to settle to this point can finally be put behind you, and that now, finally, greatness can ensue.
I am looking forward to reviewing your generous offer soon, and I hope that it will adequately meet my requirements.
It is my sincere hope that you and your company will be willing to avail yourselves of the benefits of my greatness, however expensive I may be.
Sincerely,
Tugboatcapn.

No, too subtle.

Here you go...

Dear Sir:
Out of concern for the state of the Economy and the rising rate of Unemployment, I am attempting to do my part to stamp out poverty and economic hardship in the world, starting here, at home.
I hope that you and your company will join me in this quest by hiring me to work for you.
Together, we can make the world a better place. (For me.)
Sincerely,
Tugboatcapn (A Global Citizen.)
(P.S. This letter is printed on recycled paper. Please ignore the grocery list on the back. Thank you.)

No, still doesn't feel quite right...

I don't know.

Maybe if I take a break and go wash the dishes or something, the right words will come to me...

We'll see...

I am open to suggestions...

Home Sweet Home...

I am about to tear my computer down and pack it up, so I decided to write one last post from the happiest place I have ever lived.

My Wife and I have decided that rather than renew the lease on this place and then try to get back out of it in October when I graduate from school, we will move out now, and save the money.

She and CJ will live with her Dad in Atlanta, and I am going underground to my Tugboatcapn Man-Cave/Nut-Bunker in a super-secret location in the bottom of a sink-hole in West-Central Florida. (As soon as I figure out how to get running water there.)

I have been happy here.

I never thought I would live in a house like this one. I thought that houses like this were reserved for millionaires, or at least lawyers and doctors.

It is huge, by my humble standards. It has a pool, an acre of yard, two car garage, attic, Florida room, screened lanai, concrete driveway, and it is landscaped like a golf course. (Except that there is no windmill...) It is more like a vacation cottage than a house that people live in every day. (Again, by my humble standards.)

This has been the Sanctuary through some very trying times over the past two years.

This was where we lived when CJ was born.

This was where the second little Baby Tugboatcapn (who hasn't made his/her debut yet...) was... Well, you know...

(By the way, for those of you who didn't already know, Xena is expecting again. Due in mid January.)

This was where we weathered the storms, mourned the losses, celebrated the victories, made plans, dreamed dreams, raised a child, laughed and cried for the past two years.

It has been a happy place, a safe place.

A good place.

And on Tuesday, it will be an empty place.

I hope the next tennants love it as much as we have.

Because we have loved it.

And I hope that the next place we live will be as happy, as safe, and as good.

Goodbye, Home Sweet Home.

I will miss you.

Daddy...

My Daddy is a Southern Baptist preacher.

That is the first thing to say when talking about him.

He knows God, and has lived his whole life serving the Lord, leading others to Salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross, which paid the price for all our Sin.

He taught me by example, from my earliest remembrance, how to live for Christ on a level that most people never see. It goes way beyond going to church every Sunday, or paying your tithes, or teaching or even preaching. He showed me how to give my whole life to Christ to be used for His glory, and hold nothing back, because that's what he did.

He is a follower of Christ, but a leader of men. No matter where you put him, he is running things in short order, because everyone with whom he comes in contact recognizes that that is the way things should be.

I'm convinced that there is no task to be done in this whole world that my Daddy could not accomplish, and do a good job at, should he be called upon to do it. He taught me by example that I have the same amount of fingers and toes as anyone else, and if something CAN be done, I can do it.

My Daddy loves my Mama with every particle of his being. He taught me by example that when a woman decides to share her life with you, that is a big, big deal. She is to be protected, respected, loved above all other earthly things, and if you treat her that way, you will forever have a true partner who shares your goals and priorities, and will never betray you in any way.

My Daddy loves his children. He taught me by example that a man is supposed to provide for, lead, guide, and protect his children at all times with all that he has, whether there is anything left over for him or not. I never understood what being a Daddy really was until my son was born, but now I get it.

It's the toughest job you'll ever love.

I pray every day that I will be able to raise my children the way my Daddy showed me.

He gave me a gift that I will never be able to thank him enough for.

He taught me how to be a good, hard working, stable, loving, honest, Christian, happy, grown man.

He taught me how to be Daddy.

I just hope that I will be able to live up to his example.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

I love you more than you know.

Defining Definitions Down...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? - Groucho Marx

You know, I can remember a time when a rainbow was the symbol of God's promise to Noah that He would never again destroy the World due to Man's wickedness by means of a flood.

Now it seems to be a symbol that whoever owns this car/tee-shirt/lunchbox is a homosexual, and everyone else has to be notified.

I also can remember when you could say that someone was a "gay old fella" without alluding to the probability that he didn't really understand basic biology.

But over the last couple of decades, we have re-defined the word "gay", capitalized it, made a noun out of it, and created a whole new subject that everyone is now required to explain to their children, and usually way sooner than they would like to.

And then there's this...

Marriage: The social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc...

Has now become: A relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction (for now): trial marriage; homosexual marriage.

But the people of California (of all places) voted to put the brakes on the redefinition of a word which has meant the same thing since the dawn of Human Society.

From the San Francisco Gate...

California voters legally outlawed same-sex marriage when they approved Proposition 8 in November, but the constitutional amendment did not dissolve the unions of 18,000 gay and lesbian couples who wed before the measure took effect, the state Supreme Court ruled today.

Prop. 8 undid that ruling by reinstating the definition of marriage that the court had struck down, this time as an amendment to the state Constitution. The author of last year's 4-3 decision, Chief Justice Ronald George, said today that the voters were within their rights to do so...

In dissent, Justice Carlos Moreno, who joined the majority in last year's decision, said today's ruling accepted the separate-but-equal treatment for gays and lesbians that the 2008 ruling rejected.
"Granting same-sex couples all of the rights enjoyed by opposite-sex couples, except the right to call their officially recognized and protected family relationship a marriage, still denies them equal treatment," Moreno said.

Actually, it doesn't, because, unless I've missed something here, a gay man has exactly the same right to marry any woman he wants as a straight man does.

If the gay person chooses not to marry someone of the opposite sex, and instead chooses an alternate lifestyle with alternate rules and alternate benefits and alternate challenges, then that is their choice.

In California, anyway.

For better or for worse, the people of California have spoken. The losers - I mean, the minority opinion raised their challenge, and the Court, for once, declined this particular opportunity to play an activist role, and instead just did their job, which was, to determine whether or not the people had made their statement through proper and legal channels.

Which they did.

So, for now, the word "Marriage" still means what it has always meant.

Just like the words "Democracy", and "Freedom".

At least where this issue is concerned.

At least in California.

Barack Ford Obama Boards Marine One...

Well at least he didn't try to climb in the window...

When The Going Gets Tough...

The Obamas got going.

From AP News My Way dot com...

WASHINGTON (AP) - On the rockiest day of his young administration, President Barack Obama did what surely made him happy for a while.

He left.

With little notice, the president and first lady Michelle Obama bolted the gated compound of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in their tank of a limousine on Tuesday.
They ended up at a Washington public school, [reading "My Pet Goat" to] children who could not care less about the collapse of a Cabinet secretary nomination.

The article doesn't say whether or not President Obama explained to the children that his "Economic Stimulus Plan" (if it passes) will conscript them into indentured servitude for the rest of their lives, and that they will never, ever own their own labor...

Or their own pet goat, for that matter. (Unless their Senator can slip a "Pet Goat for America's Children" earmark into some future Emergency Stimulus Bill...)

People are dying in Kentucky, freezing to death in their homes, using their last fleeting ounce of strength to crawl to the window and peer outside, in vain, for a glimpse of FEMA workers who aren't coming.

The Economy is in a shambles, worst Economy in 250 years or more, the middle class losing their jobs, their very livelyhood, by the tens of thousands every day.

The preconditions which stand in the way of negotiations for America's surrender and the subsequent Peace, set by Terrorists and Rogue Nations all over the World, remain unmet.

Communist Healthcare, long lusted after by the VAST majority of America's Losers - uhm, I mean, by the losers of Life's Lottery has suffered a dramatic setback because of unfair Tax Policies (let's see how they work THAT one out...)

And where is President Barack Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho Obama?

Playing with children.

He could have done that without being President.

It's a great day to be an American!

Believe!

No matter how weird your idea may be, believe in it and sell it, and it will work.

(At least on some level...)

(By the way, the drummer is great! )

Homework...

Hi.

Remember me?

I know it's been a long time since I last posted anything, but I've been kinda busy.

But the truth is that I have actually been much happier these past few weeks just taking care of my own world, and letting the rest of the world continue on it's path into insanity without me. (Since there doesn't seem to be much that I can do about it anyway.)

For those of you who do not already know, I abandoned the Trucking Industry forever in June, and enrolled as a full time student at National Aviation Academy in Clearwater, Fl. I am over a third of the way through my 2000 hours of training, and will soon test for my FAA Airframe and Powerplant Licenses. I also plan to train for and obtain my Avionics License.

When all of this training is complete, I will be qualified to build and maintain any type of aircraft, no matter what size, as well as build and maintain everything from elevators to roller-coasters, or even work in the back shop for a NASCAR team if I want, or maintain any type of industrial machinery that exists in the world.

I'm third in my class (of 52 students). The only people ranked higher than me are two guys who have Helicopter experience from their military service.

I'm working very hard.

I have an incredible Wife who is ridiculously overworked and under-appreciated. Between looking after Caleb, working a full time job, keeping the house, doing her own schoolwork (she's studying for her Master's Degree), and looking after me, she can use my help. She needs me more than the Blogosphere does.

I also have a wonderful little boy who loves to play with his Daddy. He's fourteen months old now, and as busy as three monkeys.

And given my choice, I would much rather show him how the rocking horse works, or how to play with the dog, or get him another Graham Cracker, than argue on the internet with people who think they have already won, and who will not be enlightened, no matter how wrong they are.

And I can actually choose.

So the Blogs have taken a back seat. At least for now.

So (unless I change my mind), while the new President installs Tax Cheats as Treasury Secretary, hideously, sub-humanly ugly morons in charge of dismantling the Energy Industry, unqualified and conflict-of-interest ridden former First Ladies as Secretary of State, and thugs and hoodlums throughout his Staff, you guys will mostly have to sort it all out without me.

Personally, Im busy preparing to take advantage of the up-swing in a couple of years when the Country comes to it's senses again. (It's GOING to happen.)

And in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my life and my family, and not let the stupidity that has taken over my Country draw me down into the depths of depression.

So, I'll see you around. I have homework to do.

Presidential...

I continue to be amazed at the class and statesmanship displayed by President Bush.

Obama Meets With Bush as He Weighs Policy Reversals

Nov. 10 (Bloomberg) -- President-elect Barack Obama met with President George W. Bush at the White House as his aides consider ways to undo many of the policies put in place by the U.S. leader during the past eight years...

Obama and his wife, Michelle, also got a tour of their future home hosted by the president and first lady Laura Bush.

If I were President Bush, I would have beaten Obama to a bloody pulp while the cameras whirred.

"Worst Economy in fifty years, huh?"

(KICK!)

"Eight years of failed policies, huh?"

(KICK... KICK!)

"Tax cuts for the Rich, huh?"

(KICK... KICK... STOMP!!)

Then, I would have slipped an un-registered hand gun into his pocket, and had him hauled away for attempting to assasinate me.

And while all this was going on, I would have had Laura slip a bunch of silverware into Michelle's purse, and had her searched on the way out.

And if President Bush was as evil and devious as the Left would have had us believe, he would have done it too.

Think about it...

If President Bush really had been lying on purpose about "WMD's" just to trick the United States into supporting his personal war against Iraq, do you really believe that none would have been found when we got there?

A President who is diabolical enough to mislead a Nation into war for his own purposes is certainly smart enough to have the Special Forces ship a container of Nukular weapons over there just ahead of the first wave of reporters, and put them on display for the whole world to observe and admire.

There is no way in the world that someone crafty enough to decieve all those hyper-intelligent Democrats into supporting the war in Iraq would have handed the Democrats, the Press, and the Lefty Kooks that stick to beat him with, year after year.

It just wouldn't have happened.

And President Bush did not knock Barack Obama down a peg today, either.

He treated Obama with dignity and respect, whether he deserved it or not.

And when Obama's people take their places in the White House in January, they will find that all the computer keyboards still have O's on them, all of the furniture will still be there, and there will be no grafitti on the walls.

And the Presidential Seal will be exactly the same as it has been.

The fact that the Obamas were treated as gracefully as they were today is a testament to the character of President Bush.

He deserves more respect than this country has shown him.

Happy Birthday Caleb!

My little boy Caleb was born one year ago today.

Happy Birthday, buddy!

(I have video that I will post as soon as I have time to edit it.)

The Devil Is In The Details...

Now that Barack Obama has been elected President, I have a couple of questions...

First of all, where do I go to pick up my "Spreading the Wealth Around" check?

I mean, is there a form that I need to fill out, or do they just mail it to me, or do I have to stand in line at the County Courthouse once a month or something?

What is the procedure here? (Obama wasn't real clear on all that during the campaign...)

Can I sign up for Direct Deposit? (That'd be great, wouldn't it?)

Another thing...

After January 9, if I need to go to the doctor, do I just go, and tell him to send the bill to the Government?

What is that address?

Or do I get a card or something?

What about when he raises my boss's taxes? Are they going to make a law that he can't lay me off?

Am I going to have to compete with all the soldiers who are currently serving in Iraq for the job I now have? Illegal Alie... I mean, Undocumented Americans too?

What if my boss just decides to retire and liquidate his business? (He has threatened to do just that...)

Am I guaranteed a job when that happens?

How, exactly, is all of this going to work?

All I know is that Obama had better come up with answers to these questions, and soon.

He made a lot of promises, and a lot of people are counting on him...

Don't let us down, Barack!

Congratulations!

On behalf of Conservatives everywhere, I would like to extend my sincere congratulations to President-Elect Barack Obama.

The Democrats fought a good fight, and with the help of wonderful groups like ACORN, with the endorsement of groups like Hamas, the Weather Underground and Al-Qaeda, they have emerged victorious.

And they only had to spend six times as much money as John McCain did to get it.

So now we can all look forward to better days under the wise, articulate, and clean leadership of the Obama Administration.

We will soon enjoy reasonably priced (and Government run) Healthcare, the Oceans will cease to rise, the Environment will soon heal itself, and our Economy will finally get back on track.

We will all begin to enjoy the benifits of spreading the wealth around very soon, and I will no longer have to worry about putting gas in my pickup, or paying my mortgage, or anything.

Racism and discrimination is finally a thing of the past, and our brave fighting men and women will soon be re-deployed to somewhere safe.

What a great time to be an American!

My sincere hope is that the Media will treat Obama as fairly and report his successes and failures as accurately and objectively as they have those of the Bush Administration, and that now that the Republicans are truly the Minority Party, they will be every bit as cooperative and supportive as the Democrats have been toward President Bush.

Oh, and that everyone who voted for him never forgets ALL of the things that Obama promised to do for them, and that they hold him to those promises.

Congratulations, Barack Obama, and may God have mercy on your soul!

Tonight's Guest Bloggers...

... The Democrat Party!




Despite the fact that they are consistently wrong about everything else, they have somehow gotten this one right.

Let me make this perfectly clear...

Tomorrow is Election Day.

I don't care what your personal ideology may be...

I don't care which candidate you support.

The important thing is that you just get out and cast your vote for John McCain.

The other guy is simply too shady, has too many problems, too many unanswered questions, and hangs with too dirty a crowd to be President of the United States.

You know it's true.

Vote for McCain.

Because, when faced with a choice between a Democrat and a Wealth-Spreading, Tax-increasing,
narcissistic Communist, the choice is clear.

McCain/Palin '08!

Keep the Change.

I Am Joe.

I am Joe The Plumber.

No, I am not a plumber, and my name is not Joe, and I do not make $250,000 per year.

But I am Joe The Plumber, just the same.

In 2006, I quit my job as a company driver at a lumber distribution center where I made a little over $40,000 per year. I took my retirement savings, my personal savings, my grocery and rent money, and whatever I could borrow from family members, and put a down payment on a tractor trailer truck of my own.

Had things stayed the way they were, the payment would have been manageable, and I would have been very successful.

But they didn't.

When fuel prices doubled that year, the freight rates stayed the same, and I did several weeks of work for a man who just decided not to pay me for it. I worked harder and harder, for more and more hours each week, for less and less money, until January of 2008, when the finance company came and took the truck away from me.

I worked 16 hours in the truck the day they took it away.

I wound up right back in a company truck, only without the money that I had saved up, my credit rating shot to death, and still in debt.

I worked as hard as a man can work, and in the end, I would have been better off if I had taken a year off and played video games.

That's how it goes. When you take risks, you sometimes lose.

But - If I had been successful, I would have bought another truck by now, maybe two. I would have employed another driver or two, maybe a part time book keeper. My trucks would have provided work for a local mechanic, business for the local truck parts store, tire dealer, and fuel stop.

THAT'S "spreading the wealth around".

But I failed.

And nobody bailed me out. Nor would I have wanted them to.

You see, I know, because I found out the hard way, how difficult it is to be successful running your own business, and the people who make it work should be celebrated by the whole community.

Not labeled "The Rich", and attacked and expected to hand over ever increasing amounts of the rewards that they earn through their sacrifice, talent, or plain old hard, back-breaking and tedious work.

I will try again. Some day, I will again be self employed, employ other people, and spread the wealth around my community the way it should be done, and I will take the lessons that I learned the first time and build upon them so that I stand a better chance at success next time.

And I get very angry when I see others around me attempting to stack the deck against me before I get there, simply because they themselves are unwilling to take the chances , work the hours, shoulder the responsibility that I do.

I am Joe The Plumber.

And so are you.