Okay.
The Libs finally got to me. I have been converted.
I no longer support the War.
Now what?
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Thoughts On Talking Donkeys, Talking Elephants, And Talking Dogs...
Did you watch the CNN-YouBoob Democrat Debate the other night?
Me neither.
I was amazed that the potential candidates for the most powerful position in the world are frightened to appear on the Fox News Network and spew their talking points before an actual newsman, so they chose instead to go to CNN and answer questions from snowmen, sock puppets, and animated cartoon characters.
It appears that the gavels of power are indeed in the hands of America's children.
While listening to the ensuing coverage of this nonsense in the days since, I have been reminded of a story that I heard a long time ago, but has stuck with me...
The story tells of a man who saw a classified ad in the newspaper which read: "FOR SALE: Talking dog, 10 years old, $10.00. Call (telephone number.)"
The man was intrigued, so he dialed the number and asked if the ad was for real.
"It is", replied the voice on the other end. "Come on by and check him out."
So the man drove to the house where the supposed talking dog was being offered for sale, and knocked on the door.
He was invited inside, and offered an opportunity to talk to the dog before he made his decision.
After exchanging pleasantries with the dog (who could indeed talk, and very well...) he asked the dog how he learned to talk.
"Well," the dog began, "when I was a puppy, I was trained as a seeing-eye dog and assigned to a sweet old blind woman who lived in New York City. She believed that I could learn to talk, and spent several years patiently working with me. I finally got the hang of it."
"Where is she now?" the man asked.
"She was killed in the World Trade Center Bombings on 9/11. I managed to dig myself out of the rubble, and began searching for her, but I never found her."
"That's so sad!" said the man, almost in tears.
"Yes... I was, however able to save the lives of seventy-four survivors who were trapped in the rubble. Because I could talk, I was able to direct rescuers to the exact spot where people were buried, and even comfort the victims while they waited for help to arrive.
"After that, I joined the Army, and went to Afghanistan to fight in the War on Terror. I was able to learn the language over there, and move among the Taliban Fighters, learn their secrets and plans, and report them to the American Forces. I pulled two tours of duty, and was given the Congressional Medal of Honor."
"Amazing!" exclaimed the man. "How did you come to live down here in Florida?"
"Well, by this time, I had faced death so many times, and done so much during my short life, that I began to wonder what it would be like to be a regular old dog, and live with a normal family as their pet. I ran away, made my way down to Florida and retired, so to speak. "
The man turned to the man who was selling the dog. "That's the most amazing story I have ever heard! I'll take the dog. I have one question, however..."
"Okay," replied the seller. "Shoot..."
"Why would anyone in their right mind sell such an incredible dog for only ten Dollars?"
"BECAUSE HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR!!"
It doesn't matter whether you are listening to the first potential female President, the first potential black President, or a talking dog...
You'd best be sure that you understand exactly what is being said, and whether or not you can rely on it before you decide to buy anything.
Me neither.
I was amazed that the potential candidates for the most powerful position in the world are frightened to appear on the Fox News Network and spew their talking points before an actual newsman, so they chose instead to go to CNN and answer questions from snowmen, sock puppets, and animated cartoon characters.
It appears that the gavels of power are indeed in the hands of America's children.
While listening to the ensuing coverage of this nonsense in the days since, I have been reminded of a story that I heard a long time ago, but has stuck with me...
The story tells of a man who saw a classified ad in the newspaper which read: "FOR SALE: Talking dog, 10 years old, $10.00. Call (telephone number.)"
The man was intrigued, so he dialed the number and asked if the ad was for real.
"It is", replied the voice on the other end. "Come on by and check him out."
So the man drove to the house where the supposed talking dog was being offered for sale, and knocked on the door.
He was invited inside, and offered an opportunity to talk to the dog before he made his decision.
After exchanging pleasantries with the dog (who could indeed talk, and very well...) he asked the dog how he learned to talk.
"Well," the dog began, "when I was a puppy, I was trained as a seeing-eye dog and assigned to a sweet old blind woman who lived in New York City. She believed that I could learn to talk, and spent several years patiently working with me. I finally got the hang of it."
"Where is she now?" the man asked.
"She was killed in the World Trade Center Bombings on 9/11. I managed to dig myself out of the rubble, and began searching for her, but I never found her."
"That's so sad!" said the man, almost in tears.
"Yes... I was, however able to save the lives of seventy-four survivors who were trapped in the rubble. Because I could talk, I was able to direct rescuers to the exact spot where people were buried, and even comfort the victims while they waited for help to arrive.
"After that, I joined the Army, and went to Afghanistan to fight in the War on Terror. I was able to learn the language over there, and move among the Taliban Fighters, learn their secrets and plans, and report them to the American Forces. I pulled two tours of duty, and was given the Congressional Medal of Honor."
"Amazing!" exclaimed the man. "How did you come to live down here in Florida?"
"Well, by this time, I had faced death so many times, and done so much during my short life, that I began to wonder what it would be like to be a regular old dog, and live with a normal family as their pet. I ran away, made my way down to Florida and retired, so to speak. "
The man turned to the man who was selling the dog. "That's the most amazing story I have ever heard! I'll take the dog. I have one question, however..."
"Okay," replied the seller. "Shoot..."
"Why would anyone in their right mind sell such an incredible dog for only ten Dollars?"
"BECAUSE HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR!!"
It doesn't matter whether you are listening to the first potential female President, the first potential black President, or a talking dog...
You'd best be sure that you understand exactly what is being said, and whether or not you can rely on it before you decide to buy anything.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Obama and Elders - The Art Of Masturbating Above The Neck...
WARNING - EXPLICIT CONTENT!!
From CBS Snooze dot com...
Study: Ritalin Stunts Growth
Research Shows That After 3 Years On ADHD Medication, Kids Are Shorter And Lighter Than Peers
After three years on the ADHD drug Ritalin, kids are about an inch shorter and 4.4 pounds lighter than their peers, a major U.S. study shows.
The symptoms of childhood ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) usually get dramatically better soon after kids start taking stimulant drugs. But this benefit may come with a cost, says James Swanson, Ph.D., director of the Child Development Center at the University of California, Irvine.
"Yes, there is a growth-suppression effect with stimulant ADHD medications," Swanson tells WebMD. "It is going to occur at the age of treatment, and over three years it will accumulate."
So, aparently Americans are faced with an important choice...
We can either raise short little shrimpy children who pay attention, or normal sized monsters who behave like wild animals.
Or, maybe there is a third option, a plan which would not only keep school-aged children calm and focused, but would have the added benifit of cutting the profits of the Big Pharmaceuticals Corporations who manufacture the Drugs which keep our children subdued so that they do not drive us crazy... And the visionary who has formulated this plan is none other than Barak Obama.
Last Tuesday, Obama told Planned Parenthood:
"I remember him (Alan Keyes) using this in his campaign against me, saying, "Barack Obama supports teaching sex education to kindergarteners... And -- you know, which, I didn't know what to tell him. But it's the right thing to do. You know, to -- to provide age-appropriate sex education, science based sex education in the schools."
Which then prompted none other than Joycelyn Elders out of her hole to announce:
"I agree with Mr. Obama to the full capacity. I feel that we should have age-appropriate, scientifically based evidence, sex education taught in schools from kindergarten through twelfth grade."
She went on to proclaim:
"To teach them that there are certain places on the bodies nobody is to touch. If they do, they should tell somebody, and if somebody is touching them in ways that makes them feel uncomfortable, you know, so much more sex goes on above the neck than it does below the waist."
Which brings to mind an earlier quote from Elders regarding what she and others believe "science based sex education" to be:
"In regard to masturbation, I think that that is something that is a part of human sexuality, and it is a part of something that perhaps should be taught."
It's so simple!
Don't drug your Kindergarteners... Teach them to masturbate!
That ought to keep them busy, as well as focused, for years!
We could teach them from the Starr Report, and that way they will not only learn what sexual practices will not prevent them from serving as President, but they will also learn the Politically Correct uses for Tobacco Products, and the importance of making sure that they clean up their own messes.
And, if they get the hang of that "above the neck" part, we could cut sexual activity below the waist in half!
Brilliant!
What would we do without these wise and enlightened Democrats to solve these problems for us?...
Now all we need to complete this plan is a Universal Eyeglasses Program.
They're going to need them...
From CBS Snooze dot com...
Study: Ritalin Stunts Growth
Research Shows That After 3 Years On ADHD Medication, Kids Are Shorter And Lighter Than Peers
After three years on the ADHD drug Ritalin, kids are about an inch shorter and 4.4 pounds lighter than their peers, a major U.S. study shows.
The symptoms of childhood ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) usually get dramatically better soon after kids start taking stimulant drugs. But this benefit may come with a cost, says James Swanson, Ph.D., director of the Child Development Center at the University of California, Irvine.
"Yes, there is a growth-suppression effect with stimulant ADHD medications," Swanson tells WebMD. "It is going to occur at the age of treatment, and over three years it will accumulate."
So, aparently Americans are faced with an important choice...
We can either raise short little shrimpy children who pay attention, or normal sized monsters who behave like wild animals.
Or, maybe there is a third option, a plan which would not only keep school-aged children calm and focused, but would have the added benifit of cutting the profits of the Big Pharmaceuticals Corporations who manufacture the Drugs which keep our children subdued so that they do not drive us crazy... And the visionary who has formulated this plan is none other than Barak Obama.
Last Tuesday, Obama told Planned Parenthood:
"I remember him (Alan Keyes) using this in his campaign against me, saying, "Barack Obama supports teaching sex education to kindergarteners... And -- you know, which, I didn't know what to tell him. But it's the right thing to do. You know, to -- to provide age-appropriate sex education, science based sex education in the schools."
Which then prompted none other than Joycelyn Elders out of her hole to announce:
"I agree with Mr. Obama to the full capacity. I feel that we should have age-appropriate, scientifically based evidence, sex education taught in schools from kindergarten through twelfth grade."
She went on to proclaim:
"To teach them that there are certain places on the bodies nobody is to touch. If they do, they should tell somebody, and if somebody is touching them in ways that makes them feel uncomfortable, you know, so much more sex goes on above the neck than it does below the waist."
Which brings to mind an earlier quote from Elders regarding what she and others believe "science based sex education" to be:
"In regard to masturbation, I think that that is something that is a part of human sexuality, and it is a part of something that perhaps should be taught."
It's so simple!
Don't drug your Kindergarteners... Teach them to masturbate!
That ought to keep them busy, as well as focused, for years!
We could teach them from the Starr Report, and that way they will not only learn what sexual practices will not prevent them from serving as President, but they will also learn the Politically Correct uses for Tobacco Products, and the importance of making sure that they clean up their own messes.
And, if they get the hang of that "above the neck" part, we could cut sexual activity below the waist in half!
Brilliant!
What would we do without these wise and enlightened Democrats to solve these problems for us?...
Now all we need to complete this plan is a Universal Eyeglasses Program.
They're going to need them...
Friday, July 20, 2007
Nightmare!
For the Left, that is...
Have they started killing themselves yet?
No?
Well don't worry... When the magnitude of what is about to happen finally sets in, there will be much weeping and wailing, and gnashing of teeth among the Democrats...
I mean, think about it...
PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY!!
And from what they are going to do to President Bush, the proceedure could take MONTHS!
But there is a bright side for the Bush Haters out there...
With Cheney holding the reins of power, the Troops will be coming home a whole lot sooner...
Have they started killing themselves yet?
No?
Well don't worry... When the magnitude of what is about to happen finally sets in, there will be much weeping and wailing, and gnashing of teeth among the Democrats...
I mean, think about it...
PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY!!
And from what they are going to do to President Bush, the proceedure could take MONTHS!
But there is a bright side for the Bush Haters out there...
With Cheney holding the reins of power, the Troops will be coming home a whole lot sooner...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Back To Normal...
Sorry for the extended period of inactivity...
Xena, Sydney and I are finally settled into the new house, and are developing a new routine. We have internet, cable and phone service up and running, so you can probably expect regular Blog Posts again starting tonight.
Just wanted to post a little update.
I will provide a more thorough explaination later, with pictures of the house and what-not.
Thanks for checking by!
See you later!
- TUG
Xena, Sydney and I are finally settled into the new house, and are developing a new routine. We have internet, cable and phone service up and running, so you can probably expect regular Blog Posts again starting tonight.
Just wanted to post a little update.
I will provide a more thorough explaination later, with pictures of the house and what-not.
Thanks for checking by!
See you later!
- TUG
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