Obama and Elders - The Art Of Masturbating Above The Neck...

WARNING - EXPLICIT CONTENT!!

From CBS Snooze dot com...

Study: Ritalin Stunts Growth
Research Shows That After 3 Years On ADHD Medication, Kids Are Shorter And Lighter Than Peers

After three years on the ADHD drug Ritalin, kids are about an inch shorter and 4.4 pounds lighter than their peers, a major U.S. study shows.

The symptoms of childhood ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) usually get dramatically better soon after kids start taking stimulant drugs. But this benefit may come with a cost, says James Swanson, Ph.D., director of the Child Development Center at the University of California, Irvine.

"Yes, there is a growth-suppression effect with stimulant ADHD medications," Swanson tells WebMD. "It is going to occur at the age of treatment, and over three years it will accumulate."

So, aparently Americans are faced with an important choice...

We can either raise short little shrimpy children who pay attention, or normal sized monsters who behave like wild animals.

Or, maybe there is a third option, a plan which would not only keep school-aged children calm and focused, but would have the added benifit of cutting the profits of the Big Pharmaceuticals Corporations who manufacture the Drugs which keep our children subdued so that they do not drive us crazy... And the visionary who has formulated this plan is none other than Barak Obama.

Last Tuesday, Obama told Planned Parenthood:
"I remember him (Alan Keyes) using this in his campaign against me, saying, "Barack Obama supports teaching sex education to kindergarteners... And -- you know, which, I didn't know what to tell him. But it's the right thing to do. You know, to -- to provide age-appropriate sex education, science based sex education in the schools."

Which then prompted none other than Joycelyn Elders out of her hole to announce:
"I agree with Mr. Obama to the full capacity. I feel that we should have age-appropriate, scientifically based evidence, sex education taught in schools from kindergarten through twelfth grade."

She went on to proclaim:
"To teach them that there are certain places on the bodies nobody is to touch. If they do, they should tell somebody, and if somebody is touching them in ways that makes them feel uncomfortable, you know, so much more sex goes on above the neck than it does below the waist."

Which brings to mind an earlier quote from Elders regarding what she and others believe "science based sex education" to be:
"In regard to masturbation, I think that that is something that is a part of human sexuality, and it is a part of something that perhaps should be taught."

It's so simple!

Don't drug your Kindergarteners... Teach them to masturbate!

That ought to keep them busy, as well as focused, for years!

We could teach them from the Starr Report, and that way they will not only learn what sexual practices will not prevent them from serving as President, but they will also learn the Politically Correct uses for Tobacco Products, and the importance of making sure that they clean up their own messes.

And, if they get the hang of that "above the neck" part, we could cut sexual activity below the waist in half!

Brilliant!

What would we do without these wise and enlightened Democrats to solve these problems for us?...

Now all we need to complete this plan is a Universal Eyeglasses Program.

They're going to need them...