Monday, December 12, 2005

Forget The Trap, Let's Build A Better Mouse...

From, or as I like to call it, "News of the Weird..."

Mice Created With Human Brain Cells

"SAN FRANCISCO - Add another creation to the strange scientific menagerie where animal species are being mixed together in ever more exotic combinations. Scientists announced Monday that they had created mice with small amounts of human brain cells in an effort to make realistic models of neurological disorders such as Parkinson's disease."


(Huh huh.. heh heh... uhn humm...snort...)

WHY do we have to do things like this? Haven't we treated mice badly enough over the course of the years??

Now we want them to KNOW how bad they have it, apparently.

We coop them up in cages, drip shampoo in their eyes, make them smoke cigarettes, inject them with psychodelic drugs, give them cancer, (Everything we do to mice gives them cancer, evidently...) infect them with AIDS, (I never want to meet the guy who has THAT job...) and that isn't good enough for us.

We want them to be SMART enough to KNOW what we are doing to them.

"How does that feel, Mr. Mouse?"

"Well, it doesn't burn as bad as what you did yesterday, but it still sucks..."

"Thank you, Mr Mouse! You are really helping us to understand the effect of battery acid on open sores. Aren't you proud??"

What are these scientists going to do when they come to work one morning, and find a 6 foot mousetrap in the middle of the lab, with a pepperoni pizza on it?

My guess is that they will try to get the pizza...

Can we please stop these Frankensteinian experiments before we create a species that can kick our butts??

Now don't get me wrong. I don't oppose animal testing. A lot of good comes from it. A lot of human lives have been saved, not to mention the progress we have made in keeping old men sexually active, and helping them to retain their hair.

But implanting mice with human brain cells crosses the line.

It makes me nervous.

The last thing we need is a smarter mouse.

What kind of experiments will they perform on US when the tables are turned?

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