I Know Everything... Almost...

Well, as of about 07:00 this morning, I am officially 40 years old.

I thougt when I was younger that by the time I turned 40, I would be filthy, stinking rich.

Well, I got the filthy, stinking part down pat. Still working on the rich part.

I thought that by now, I would know everything.

Well, I don't. Not yet.

There is one thing that I still do not know. (See if you can guess what it is...)

Here are some things that I DO know.

1. I KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT.

2. I KNOW EVERY WAY UNDER THE SUN TO WORK YOURSELF DOWN, WITHOUT MAKING ANY MONEY.

3. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY BOOKS A DOUBLE WIDE MOBILE HOME WILL HOLD.

4. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY DAYS I CAN GO WITHOUT SLEEP.

5. I KNOW THAT POLITICIANS, (ALL OF THEM) ARE THE POPULAR KIDS WHO MADE FUN OF YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL. NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TRUST THEM WITH YOUR LIFE, YOUR MONEY, OR YOUR FREEDOM.

THEY THINK YOU ARE STUPID.

6. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO EVEN JOKE ABOUT WANTING A BOX OF CONDOMS FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

7. I KNOW THAT I AM SMARTER THAN MY WIFE IS.
(I married her, and She married me.)

8. I KNOW THAT ONE COMPUTER, ONE GUITAR, AND ONE KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUT IS TOO MANY, AND A THOUSAND WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH.

9. I KNOW THAT IT IS A BAD IDEA TO JOKE WITH THE BORDER GUARDS ON THE USA/CANADA BORDER. (About anything.) (Long story.)

10. I KNOW THAT ALL OF THE PROBLEMS OF SOCIETY ARE CREATED FROM THE TOP DOWN, AND SOLVED FROM THE BOTTOM UP.

There's more.

If you need to know anything at all, just ask me.

You might just hit on the one thing that I do not know.